I’ve already played this video for a lot of people, some of which I didn't even know were suicidal at one point. I wanted to make it more personal.ĭo you think the song can be a salve for those that listen to it who are battling depression or suicide, as a way to better help someone come to terms with what they’re going through?Ībsolutely. So I wanted to touch on the issue in a different way, to kind of make the listener understand completely where I was coming from. I have to relate to them some way I have to give them that platform on which they can also understand, from the outside looking in, how other people may feel when they’re gone. I’m thinking about all the things that they must’ve already heard, and I told myself I have to come across differently. How do you really tell somebody, or try to help somebody through something like this? How do you make songs about something like this without coming across as cheesy in a way? How do you make a record about something that people already know? I knew I wanted to make the record I always wanted to make a record like this. My little brother was suicidal at one point, and I had conversations with him about it. I didn’t know what to say to them, because I'd never dealt with it. But even before that happened, a lot of fans had reached out to me telling me that they were dealing with depression. One of my stepfather’s friends committed suicide a couple months ago. How did “I’m Sorry” come about, and why did you feel you needed to make this record? That’s pretty much how the shift happened. When it comes to certain records, the songs end up being soundtracks to that movie. And once I wrote the video, I had a clear understanding of what I wanted I created the soundtrack to that video. When I did “Happy Birthday,” I wrote the treatment for the video before I wrote the record. I started doing everything backwards, and it worked for me. Once I figured that out, I started writing the videos before I would even write the record. I just started focusing on my visuals, which I felt were very important. And that’s where you get “ Happy Birthday” from, and “ Ross Capicchioni” from, or you even get “I’m Sorry” from. I began seeing certain things happen in my life and other people’s lives, and getting inspired by it, and writing about it. At one point, I couldn’t get away from people telling me what type of music I needed to make - “You need to sound like this person” or “You need to make a club banger.” What really shifted my energy was me just basically blocking everything else out and saying, ‘I don’t care what anybody wants to hear from me, I’m gonna make the type of music I wanna make.’ I just got tired of being pulled in different directions. I wanna be like me.” He would tell me the type of music I wanted to make didn’t sell. I was like, ‘I don't wanna do that, I don’t wanna be like them. We would argue and get into fights.”This person’s hot, so you gotta be like them,” he would say. I had my dad telling me, “You need to make club music because club music is hot.” Whatever wave was going on, that’s the music he wanted me to create. For a long time, I was being pulled in a bunch of different directions. But then I started not caring about what other people wanted to hear from me, and started doing my own thing. I was versatile, but I didn't really know who I was. I felt like at one point, I was chasing other people. Just looking at the industry, it kinda seems like a lot of people are in the same lane. Was there a certain experience that sparked the change in how you approached the music-making process? It wasn't until I realized that I had a gift to be able to convey my thoughts and how I felt about certain things, that I shifted my focus. When I was a kid, I was just rapping about school and stuff like that. As I got older, I disregarded using my life experiences in being able to put that energy into a record. I knew at an early age that this was something that I wanted to get into. I loved it, it was feel good music that I loved listening to. Joyner Lucas: Watching my pops, I would get that little butterfly feeling in my stomach.
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